...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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