He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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