mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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