We're facebook friends in real life
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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