i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
