SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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