I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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