I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
