I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize