oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
