And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
