At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
