oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
