how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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