soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
