So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
