And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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