So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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