If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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