just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
