I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
