Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
