just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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