Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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