i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
