Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
