I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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