If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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