Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
