having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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