I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
