Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
