She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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