I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
