We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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