dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
