you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
