We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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