I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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