Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
this hospital has no fireball
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
