im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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