her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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