Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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