Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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