i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
