The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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