were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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