You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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