I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
