Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
