I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
