i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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