The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize