You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
