you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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