i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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