They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
