this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize