Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
