we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
