I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
