white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
