i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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