Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her vagine was all disorganized.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
